Today I begin a series aimed at helping you to build self esteem or what I like to call God confidence in your children.
Step One: Speak positively into your child's life.
There is a story in the Bible which involves a fathers words or lack thereof.
Esau and Jacob were both sons of Isaac. According to the covenant God made with Abraham, who was Isaac's father, it was required that they pass on the blessing of God to their eldest son.
Now Isaac had every intention of doing this, but Isaac's younger son Jacob and Jacob's mother Rachel, tricked Jacob into giving this birthright to Isaac.
Esau was distraught. So much so that he hated his brother Jacob.
In this situation, Isaac could have diffused the situation by speking up. Instead he chose to remain silent and docile. As a result Esau spent many years in turmoil.
A parents encourging words can propel a child to greatness while a careless remark or lack thereof can send a child into a life long tail spin. As parents our words can shape our child's view of the world and their place in it.
The Bible teaches us that we have the power of life and death in ou rown tongues. Choose to speak life into your children. Avoid words and criticisms that lead to ridicule and shame. Be generous with praise. Catch your chidren doing good rather that seeking to catch them doing bad.
Your words make a difference in what your children believe about themselves
What were the last words you said to your child today? How can you use your words to build up and encourage your children each day?
Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an author, talk show host and inspirational speaker. Her new book The Minsitry of Motherhood will be released in May 2009. To learn more about Cheryl visit www.cheryllaceydonovan.com
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Accept Your Children as They Are: God Does
One of the greatest needs our children have is that of acceptance. Believe me, the world is full of instruction on how to achieve it. But the ways of the world are not the ways of God. God's way is not about conforming, it's about being transformed. The only way this transformation can happen is by studying His word and letting it renew our minds.
Our children need to know that they were fearfully and wonderfully made in God's own image, as such, when they see themselves as God sees them, they will develop a healthy sense of self worth.
They will better understand that the only one from whom they need acceptance is God.
As a parent, don't try to mold them into what you want them to be. Instead help them to look for and become what God wants them to be. Understand that we are just steward to whom God has entrusted these little souls. When they don't meet your expectations, remember it's not your expectations they must meet. Our job is to nurture them and guide them into the acceptance of Christ and His plan for their lives.
Cheryl Lacey Donovan is the author of the soon to be released book the Ministry of Motherhood. She is also an inspirational speaker and talk show host. To learn more about Cheryl or to have her speak at your next event visit www.cheryllaceydonovan.com
Our children need to know that they were fearfully and wonderfully made in God's own image, as such, when they see themselves as God sees them, they will develop a healthy sense of self worth.
They will better understand that the only one from whom they need acceptance is God.
As a parent, don't try to mold them into what you want them to be. Instead help them to look for and become what God wants them to be. Understand that we are just steward to whom God has entrusted these little souls. When they don't meet your expectations, remember it's not your expectations they must meet. Our job is to nurture them and guide them into the acceptance of Christ and His plan for their lives.
Cheryl Lacey Donovan is the author of the soon to be released book the Ministry of Motherhood. She is also an inspirational speaker and talk show host. To learn more about Cheryl or to have her speak at your next event visit www.cheryllaceydonovan.com
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Loving Yourself
The Bible teaches us to love our neighbors as ourselves. It goes on to say that this is one of the greatest commandments. You see, God knew that if we loved our neighbors as we love ourselves, our only choice would be to be kind to one another. The problem is many of us don’t love ourselves. Consequently, we can’t love anyone else.
So, you may be wondering, how do I begin to love myself? Well, there are many solutions we can employ to begin to love ourselves. I have listed several of them below.
1.) Remember that you have the power of life and death in your own tongue. Stop criticizing yourself. Be aware of your self talk. Speak to yourself in ways that are kind. Stop being your own worst critic. Criticism breaks the inner spirit and never changes anything. Release the old critical voices from the past and learn to keep them from impacting your future.
2.) Learn to speak positively about yourself. Use affirmations and speak of yourself the way God speaks of you. “You are more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ.” “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world” “You are the head and not the tail.” “You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.”
3.) Treat yourself well. I firmly believe that we teach people how to treat us, but when we don’t treat ourselves well, we can’t teach others to do the same. Find ways to pamper yourself and replenish your soul. Strengthen your inner self by reading the Word and meditating on it to find comfort.
4.) Understand that the love must come from you. Others cannot affirm or love you the way you can. Stop looking to parents, significant others, and even children to do what only you can do yourself.
5.) Accept yourself for who you are. Good, bad, or ugly, you are who you are. Come Understand yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. Start there and move on. If you find that there are some things about yourself that you don’t like, begin changing them. Acknowledge that you created your negative attitudes about yourself for a reason. Now you need to find new, more positive ways to fulfill those needs. If necessary, come to terms with those aspects of yourself that you cannot change.
6.) Be your own best friend. Like, trust, and respect yourself. See yourself through compassion the way you would a friend. Cut yourself some slack.
7.) Don’t judge yourself harshly. Try to understand where the judgment is coming from and deal with it head on.
It is important for each of us to remind ourselves that we are not perfect.
Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an author, educator, inspirational speaker, and talk show host. Visit her at www.cheryllaceydonovan.com
So, you may be wondering, how do I begin to love myself? Well, there are many solutions we can employ to begin to love ourselves. I have listed several of them below.
1.) Remember that you have the power of life and death in your own tongue. Stop criticizing yourself. Be aware of your self talk. Speak to yourself in ways that are kind. Stop being your own worst critic. Criticism breaks the inner spirit and never changes anything. Release the old critical voices from the past and learn to keep them from impacting your future.
2.) Learn to speak positively about yourself. Use affirmations and speak of yourself the way God speaks of you. “You are more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ.” “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world” “You are the head and not the tail.” “You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.”
3.) Treat yourself well. I firmly believe that we teach people how to treat us, but when we don’t treat ourselves well, we can’t teach others to do the same. Find ways to pamper yourself and replenish your soul. Strengthen your inner self by reading the Word and meditating on it to find comfort.
4.) Understand that the love must come from you. Others cannot affirm or love you the way you can. Stop looking to parents, significant others, and even children to do what only you can do yourself.
5.) Accept yourself for who you are. Good, bad, or ugly, you are who you are. Come Understand yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. Start there and move on. If you find that there are some things about yourself that you don’t like, begin changing them. Acknowledge that you created your negative attitudes about yourself for a reason. Now you need to find new, more positive ways to fulfill those needs. If necessary, come to terms with those aspects of yourself that you cannot change.
6.) Be your own best friend. Like, trust, and respect yourself. See yourself through compassion the way you would a friend. Cut yourself some slack.
7.) Don’t judge yourself harshly. Try to understand where the judgment is coming from and deal with it head on.
It is important for each of us to remind ourselves that we are not perfect.
Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an author, educator, inspirational speaker, and talk show host. Visit her at www.cheryllaceydonovan.com
Friday, July 4, 2008
Cheryl Lacey Donovan speaks to Debra Duncan about "The Culture of Spanking"
Take a look at this archived video of Award Winning author Cheryl Lacey Donovan speaking to Debra Duncan of Great Day Houston about "The Culture of Spanking."
http://www.khou.com/greatday/family/?nvid=258160&shu=1
http://www.khou.com/greatday/family/?nvid=258160&shu=1
Monday, June 16, 2008
Obama's Father's Day Speech
In light of the fact that over 70% of the African American Households in the United States are devoid of a father figure, it is inspiring that one of their own is adddressing this issue. For far too long, single mothers in our community have had to bear the burden of childrearing all alone.
It is high time that we all come together for the sake of the children. If we don't the future of our race will be a dim one
It is high time that we all come together for the sake of the children. If we don't the future of our race will be a dim one
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Discipline vs. Punishment
Our best example of parenting, God praises, advises nurtures, encourages, teaches, and trains us. Teaching our children to live a Christian life should be done by precepts and examples. Being both reliable and trustworthy are essential because our children depend on us to be there for them. Patience and compassion go hand in hand as they mirror the patience and mercy of God upon us His children.
Communicating our expectations to our children through destructive criticism, lack of quality time, and dysfunctional marriages and families, destroys the relationships between parents and their children. It is not so much what we say but how we say it. Emphasizing the right things in the right ways. means giving them wholesome instruction and admonishing them properly. Your children do not require material things, they require time. Your children should always know that you love them.
"Sticks and Stones may break your bones but words will never hurt me" doesn't apply to parenting. Using words that deflate your child's self worth will have a lasting effect on their lives. Telling your children they will never amount to anything will only become a self fulfilling prophecy. You have the power of life and death in your own tongue. Speak peace, love, joy, and happiness into their lives. If, you always say that your children are bad, then what do you expect them to be. Remind your children about what God says about them. Help them to see themselves through God's eyes.
Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it Proverbs 22:6
This is the Bibles commission to parents. But what does training really mean? Leading your children by faith to Christ and being a consistent example to them is the first step in training. Difficult but effective, leading by example communicates our commitment to live out the truth and reality of Jesus in our lives. Defined more by what we don't do than what we do as mothers, we must be diligent in our prayer life, in our church going, and in the way we interact with people on a daily basis. Knowing Christian doctrine, using Christian vernacular, and appearing Godly may fool outsiders, but it won't fool your children and it won't fool God. Seeing you as you really are, children are in the best position to be students of your life. Having the most insight into the relationship between what you say and what you do children become the best at deciphering hypocrisy from true Christian discipleship. Gossiping, lying to the bill collector, and constantly bashing our children's father are all poor examples of our faith walk with God. In fact, the very message that these attributes send is one of hypocrisy.
Picking and choosing our sins, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't cuss, is more about us than it is about being Christ like. Memorizing scripture is good but a personal relationship with God is the ultimate goal. Morality is not the only gauge by which we are measured. The cemetery is full of people that didn't do bad things. The question is, was their walk with God close enough to enter the kingdom of heaven. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
We can't make Christ a reality to our children if He is not a reality to us. Practice what you want them to practice. Children follow and imitate us. "Do as I say not as I do" is a poor motto to follow if you want to raise Godly children. Remember to teach them by example; your example. Learning not brought about by both example and instruction will lead to a child that does not respect the parents. Living out the Christian life through the Holy Spirit will be instruction to your children that Christ is real. Are you creating a desire for God in your children?
Understanding the difference between discipline and punishment is important as well. Punishments are given as a penalty for an offense. It is usually handed out in hostility and frustration and produces fear and guilt. The child senses this and the outcome is compromised. What the child learns instead is that we should solve problems with physical punishment and degrade the object of our anger in the process. The child's self image is diminished.
Discipline on the other hand is used to train and to correct. Discipline must be fair. It needs to be explained to and understood by the child if it is to be effective. Discipline must also be prompt, delivered as soon after the offense as possible. Finally, discipline must be terminal; no continued reminders, assured reacceptance. In an environment of discipline the child will learn life's requirements in the context of love and concern. At this point training can take place. This approach has as its goal the development of responsible behavior. It communicates caring to the child. In an environment of true discipline, the child understands the importance of these requirements for their future, for God, and for society.
When training is done effectively and consistently, the rod of correction is seldom necessary. Take the time to train your children in the way they should go.
Communicating our expectations to our children through destructive criticism, lack of quality time, and dysfunctional marriages and families, destroys the relationships between parents and their children. It is not so much what we say but how we say it. Emphasizing the right things in the right ways. means giving them wholesome instruction and admonishing them properly. Your children do not require material things, they require time. Your children should always know that you love them.
"Sticks and Stones may break your bones but words will never hurt me" doesn't apply to parenting. Using words that deflate your child's self worth will have a lasting effect on their lives. Telling your children they will never amount to anything will only become a self fulfilling prophecy. You have the power of life and death in your own tongue. Speak peace, love, joy, and happiness into their lives. If, you always say that your children are bad, then what do you expect them to be. Remind your children about what God says about them. Help them to see themselves through God's eyes.
Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it Proverbs 22:6
This is the Bibles commission to parents. But what does training really mean? Leading your children by faith to Christ and being a consistent example to them is the first step in training. Difficult but effective, leading by example communicates our commitment to live out the truth and reality of Jesus in our lives. Defined more by what we don't do than what we do as mothers, we must be diligent in our prayer life, in our church going, and in the way we interact with people on a daily basis. Knowing Christian doctrine, using Christian vernacular, and appearing Godly may fool outsiders, but it won't fool your children and it won't fool God. Seeing you as you really are, children are in the best position to be students of your life. Having the most insight into the relationship between what you say and what you do children become the best at deciphering hypocrisy from true Christian discipleship. Gossiping, lying to the bill collector, and constantly bashing our children's father are all poor examples of our faith walk with God. In fact, the very message that these attributes send is one of hypocrisy.
Picking and choosing our sins, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't cuss, is more about us than it is about being Christ like. Memorizing scripture is good but a personal relationship with God is the ultimate goal. Morality is not the only gauge by which we are measured. The cemetery is full of people that didn't do bad things. The question is, was their walk with God close enough to enter the kingdom of heaven. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
We can't make Christ a reality to our children if He is not a reality to us. Practice what you want them to practice. Children follow and imitate us. "Do as I say not as I do" is a poor motto to follow if you want to raise Godly children. Remember to teach them by example; your example. Learning not brought about by both example and instruction will lead to a child that does not respect the parents. Living out the Christian life through the Holy Spirit will be instruction to your children that Christ is real. Are you creating a desire for God in your children?
Understanding the difference between discipline and punishment is important as well. Punishments are given as a penalty for an offense. It is usually handed out in hostility and frustration and produces fear and guilt. The child senses this and the outcome is compromised. What the child learns instead is that we should solve problems with physical punishment and degrade the object of our anger in the process. The child's self image is diminished.
Discipline on the other hand is used to train and to correct. Discipline must be fair. It needs to be explained to and understood by the child if it is to be effective. Discipline must also be prompt, delivered as soon after the offense as possible. Finally, discipline must be terminal; no continued reminders, assured reacceptance. In an environment of discipline the child will learn life's requirements in the context of love and concern. At this point training can take place. This approach has as its goal the development of responsible behavior. It communicates caring to the child. In an environment of true discipline, the child understands the importance of these requirements for their future, for God, and for society.
When training is done effectively and consistently, the rod of correction is seldom necessary. Take the time to train your children in the way they should go.
Award Winning Author Cheryl Lacey Donovan to appear on Great Day Houston
Sandra Thomas
A Virtuous Woman-31
11601 Shadow Creek Pkwy
Pearland, Texas 77584
(832) 615-1197 ext. 702
sthomas@avirtuouswoman-31.org
June 15, 2008 Coming from a legacy of preachers, Cheryl Lacey Donovan is walking in her destiny. An anointed woman of God, her mission is to challenge you to look inside yourself for change, to identify the strongholds in your life, and to tear them down with the help of the creator. Once you have crossed her path, your life will never be the same. Cheryl hit the scene with full force when she penned her award winning book Women What the Hell are You Thinking. Cheryl shows no signs of slowing down as she travels the country speaking to women about issues that resonate within their souls.
Cheryl’s internet radio show Worth More Than Rubies reaches thousands of women each week with educational, inspiring, and thought provoking programming that gives women a platform to discuss their issues and design a plan for change. The show will soon go into production as a 30 minute cable TV talk show.
On June 26, 2008, at 9:00am CST, Cheryl will appear on Great Day Houston with Debra Duncan to discuss issues related to child rearing practices. "Titus 2 admonishes older women to teach younger women how to love their children.” Cheryl has taken up the mantle to do just that. Her articles, “Are African American Child Rearing Practices a Direct Result of Slavery” and “Discipline vs. Punishment”, give amazing insight into the art of balancing discipline and training. Her upcoming release "The Ministry of Motherhood" delivers a bold message about responsibility and accountability by explaining the keys to the ministry involved with being a mother. Use these keys to unlock the secret and discover the real truth. It is through the gift of the written word that Cheryl ignites flames, delivering a powerful message of hope and inspiration, through faith and family, you will be inspired to change, forced to make a difference and will realize the importance of motherhood, through and through.
About The Author
Cheryl Donovan is an acclaimed author, inspirational speaker, and compelling advocate for personal empowerment. Her book Women What the Hell are You Thinking remained in the top 10 of Amazons Hot New Releases during its first two months of publication.
Cheryl believes in Psalms 11:25 which says, She who refreshes others will herself be refreshed; therefore, she tries to be transparent as she speaks and writes about her valley to mountain experiences
Cheryl has been recognized nationally for her work. She has been the featured author on radio talk shows such as Artist First, Power Talk FM, An Hour to Empower with Mo and Mickey, and Urban Echoes Voices and Vibes. Her interviews have also appeared in Empowering African American Women Magazine, AA Kulture Zone, The Book Suite, and Women’s Self Esteem. She was awarded the 2007 Literary Power Award and was nominated in several categories for the Infini Awards. Cheryl will be featured for the inaugural season of What Shall We Read, a literary program which airs on CAN-TV in Chicago. She will also be inducted into the 2008 Who’s Who in Black Houston.
A Virtuous Woman-31
11601 Shadow Creek Pkwy
Pearland, Texas 77584
(832) 615-1197 ext. 702
sthomas@avirtuouswoman-31.org
June 15, 2008 Coming from a legacy of preachers, Cheryl Lacey Donovan is walking in her destiny. An anointed woman of God, her mission is to challenge you to look inside yourself for change, to identify the strongholds in your life, and to tear them down with the help of the creator. Once you have crossed her path, your life will never be the same. Cheryl hit the scene with full force when she penned her award winning book Women What the Hell are You Thinking. Cheryl shows no signs of slowing down as she travels the country speaking to women about issues that resonate within their souls.
Cheryl’s internet radio show Worth More Than Rubies reaches thousands of women each week with educational, inspiring, and thought provoking programming that gives women a platform to discuss their issues and design a plan for change. The show will soon go into production as a 30 minute cable TV talk show.
On June 26, 2008, at 9:00am CST, Cheryl will appear on Great Day Houston with Debra Duncan to discuss issues related to child rearing practices. "Titus 2 admonishes older women to teach younger women how to love their children.” Cheryl has taken up the mantle to do just that. Her articles, “Are African American Child Rearing Practices a Direct Result of Slavery” and “Discipline vs. Punishment”, give amazing insight into the art of balancing discipline and training. Her upcoming release "The Ministry of Motherhood" delivers a bold message about responsibility and accountability by explaining the keys to the ministry involved with being a mother. Use these keys to unlock the secret and discover the real truth. It is through the gift of the written word that Cheryl ignites flames, delivering a powerful message of hope and inspiration, through faith and family, you will be inspired to change, forced to make a difference and will realize the importance of motherhood, through and through.
About The Author
Cheryl Donovan is an acclaimed author, inspirational speaker, and compelling advocate for personal empowerment. Her book Women What the Hell are You Thinking remained in the top 10 of Amazons Hot New Releases during its first two months of publication.
Cheryl believes in Psalms 11:25 which says, She who refreshes others will herself be refreshed; therefore, she tries to be transparent as she speaks and writes about her valley to mountain experiences
Cheryl has been recognized nationally for her work. She has been the featured author on radio talk shows such as Artist First, Power Talk FM, An Hour to Empower with Mo and Mickey, and Urban Echoes Voices and Vibes. Her interviews have also appeared in Empowering African American Women Magazine, AA Kulture Zone, The Book Suite, and Women’s Self Esteem. She was awarded the 2007 Literary Power Award and was nominated in several categories for the Infini Awards. Cheryl will be featured for the inaugural season of What Shall We Read, a literary program which airs on CAN-TV in Chicago. She will also be inducted into the 2008 Who’s Who in Black Houston.
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