Ann Coulter Said What about Single Mothers

I have posted some of Ann Coulter's comments because I want to make sure that I don't misquote her idiotic comments when I respond. Listen first and then read what I have to say.

Ann Coulter hasn’t written New York Times bestselling books. She’s just had a hell of a publicity machine behind her. In fact, my writing this response further enhances her ultimate goal which is to sell books. It’s not lost on the publishing industry that even trash can sell if you have the right marketing and promotions to back you up. Such is the case with Coulter.

Obviously Coulter has done her research when it comes to single mothers, but, I would be hard pressed to believe she has ever spoken to a single mother one on one?

I was a single mother until my oldest son turned 10. Neither of my two sons ended up as strippers. I never utilized the welfare system and I worked hard to make sure that my boys stayed out of trouble. I had a wonderful support system and I trusted in the God that Coulter professes to know. I was not a victim and I did not respond as such. I took responsibility and held myself accountable for my choices; good or bad. To insinuate that because society wants to help single mothers means that we are glorifying not getting married and raising a full family is insane. Most single mothers would tell you they would love to have a warm, loving, responsible, husband and father in theirs and their children’s lives. In fact, many of them like me were married at one time, but due to domestic violence death and other misfortune, these marriages did not work. I guess next you’ll be telling us that’s our fault, too.

Let’s suffice it to say, if you were ever a victim of a crime, you don’t have this single mother to thank: "Victim of a Crime? Thank a Single Mother"

"It is a mark of how attractive it is to be a phony victim that divorcées will often claim to belong to the more disreputable category of "single mothers." [Page 36]

The audacity of Coulter to call single mothers disreputable! The dictionary defines disreputable as disgracing the reputation, lacking respectability in character. To the contrary, I brought honor to the reputation of motherhood. I was an integral part of my children’s academic career, I saw too it each of them were prepared for and attended college, I was PTA Vice president, Team Mom, and whatever else was necessary to make sure they became productive citizens in this society.

Coulter writes: "Single motherhood is like a farm team for future criminals and social outcasts." [Page 38]

Neither of my children are criminals or social outcasts. In fact, my oldest son graduated high school when he was 16 and is now teaching in the local school district.

My children are not alone, here is a list of other children who grew up in a single parent household.

Alexander Hamilton - President Gen. George Washington - President Thomas Jefferson - President James Monroe - President Andrew Jackson - President Andrew Johnson - President Rutherford B. Hayes - President Herbert Hoover - President Grover Cleveland - President Gerald Ford - President William Jefferson Clinton - President Barack Obama - U.S. Supreme Court Justice James Wilson - U.S. Supreme Court Justice John Rutledge - John Hancock - U.S. Supreme Court Justice Stephen Johnson Field - U.S. Supreme Court Justice Thomas Todd - U.S. Supreme Court Justice David Davis - U.S. Supreme Court Justice John McKinley - U.S. Supreme Court Ch. Justice (and U.S. Treasury Secretary) Salmon P. Chase - U.S. Supreme Court Justice Melville Fuller - U.S. Supreme Court Ch. Justice Edward D. White - U.S. Supreme Court Justice Benjamin N. Cardozo - U.S. Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas - U.S. Supreme Court Justice James F. Byrnes - U.S. Supreme Court Justice Arthur J. Goldberg - U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas - Frederick Douglas - Gen. Robert E. Lee - Booker T. Washington - Benjamin Rush - Stephen Colbert - George Mason - Fr. Gen. Marquis de Lafayette - U.S. Senator Henry Clay - William Tecumseh Sherman - Meriwether Lewis - Eleanor Roosevelt - Jackie Robinson - Mark Twain - George Washington Carver - Nathanial Hawthorne - Eli Whitney Jr. - U.S. House Majority Leader Steny Hamilton Hoyer - Michael Phelps - Linus Carl Pauling - Aristotle - Nicolas Copernicus - Sir Isaac Newton - Mahatma Gandhi - Leonardo da Vinci - Confucius - Jesus of Nazareth - Queen Elizabeth I - Jean-Jacques Rousseau - William Blackstone - Annie Mansfield Sullivan - Alexander Fleming - Nelson Mandela - Catherine the Great of Russia - Robert Frost - Langston Hughes - Alexandre Dumas - Gen. Alexander Haig - Alabama Governor Bibb Graves - New York Governor Al Smith - Tennessee Governor Sam Houston - Indiana Supreme Court Justice William Allen Woods - U.S. Senator Al Sharpton - U.S. Senator Senator Robert C. "Bob" Smith - U.S. Senator John Ensign - U.S. Senator Bella Abzug - U.S. Senator William Warren "Bill" Bradley - U.S. Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan - Queen Victoria of Britain - Alan Greenspan - Plato - Alessandro Volta - Jim Clark - Ada Lovelace - Jane Austen - George Eastman - Rosa Parks - Roy Wilson Howard - Washington State Senator Paull Shin - Johann Sebastian Bach - Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz - Lance Armstrong - John Lennon - Hans Christian Andersen - Edward Jenner - Giacomo Puccini - Joseph John ("J.J.") Thomson - Bertrand Russell - Hermann Rorschach - Herman Melville - John Keats - Marian Anderson - Garry Kasparov - Sylvia Plath - Leo Tolstoy - Peyton Rous - Benjamin Carson - Raphael - David Hume - Hannah Arendt - Ralph Waldo Emerson - Stephen Crane - Friedrich Nietzsche - Agatha Christie - William Wordsworth - Max Weber - Cleopatra - Jesse Jackson - Audie Murphy - Gustav Theodor Fechner - Edgar Allen Poe - Emile Zola - William Smith - Gerald Bull - Willa Cather - Ritchie Valens - Daniel Dennett - Cass Gilbert - Mary Leakey - Joseph Stalin - Charlie Chaplin - Nelly Bly - Henry Morton Stanley - Max Born - Sarah Breedlove - Frederick Froebel - Steve Allen - Louis Armstrong - Warren Hastings - Allan Pinkerton - Billie Holiday - Hank Williams - Malcolm X - Carol Burnett - Thomas Green Clemson - John Irving - J.R.R. Tolkien - Charles Bronson - Tom Blake - Paulette Goddard - Gene Hackman - Robert Hooke - James Byron Dean - Halle Berry - Benjamin Bratt - Eddie Murphy - Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg - Deborah Sampson - Ralph Ellison - California Supreme Court Justice Rose Bird - Eric Clapton - Eamon de Valera - William Reddington Hewlett - J. Marvin Herndon - Mother Angelica - Karl Rove - Julius Caesar - Muhammed - Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick - F. Whitten Peters - Henry Talbot - Arthur C. Clarke - Jim Rogan - Frederick W. Alt - Emil J. Freireich - Willie Nelson - Charlotte Perkins Gilman - Victor - Herbert - Bessie Coleman - Dorothy Andersen - Chiang Kai-shek - Videl Sassoon - Coco Chanel - Anderson Hayes Cooper - James Brown - Kenneth Grahame - Hunter "Patch" Adams - Jack Nicholson - Roald Dahl - William Lloyd Garrison - Douglas Fairbanks - David Harker - Robert Fulton - Irving Berlin - Jonathan Swift - Peggy Drexler - Art Buchwald - Carolyn Jones - Doris Roberts - Loretta Young - Marilyn Monroe - Barbara Stanwick - Steve McQueen - Cher - Pierce Brosnan - Wayne Dyer - Francis Alice Kellor - Sophia Loren - Stephen King - Sir Charles Bell - Whoopi Goldberg - Richard Wright - Percy Spencer - Ward Connerly - Fatty Arbuckle - Katherine Burr Blodgett - Dorothea Lange - Frances Kellor - Gloria Steinem - Gloria Gaynor - Jon Stewart - Bette Davis - Audrey Hepburn - Tom Cruise - Bill Cosby - Barry White - Susanna Harding - Jodie Foster - Patsy Cline - Ed Bradley - Tom Monaghan - Rickey Henderson....

Ann, if you’re not going to be part of the solution then that makes you part of the problem. All you do is spew vile outrageous comments that create divisions among people rather than bringing them closer together.

You actually said in one of your interviews that the left had a plan for illegitimacy. Give me a break, who plans for illegitimacy? How crazy does that sound? Its comments like this one that reduce your credibility and take away from some of the truths that may lie dormant in your tirades.

For instance, I agree that mothers need to take responsibility and not live off welfare forever. I also believe that single motherhood should not be glamorized because it’s a tough job and anyone who believes otherwise in terribly mistaken. However, in many instances it’s not single motherhood alone that is directly at issue. It is more so certain family characteristics and lifestyle advantages (such as educational opportunities, financial opportunities, stability, attention, and so forth) or the lack thereof that are attributable to the less than acceptable outcomes that we see.

So Ann, don’t lump everyone in the same basket. Unless you’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes, it would be wise not to judge to harshly. Judge not that ye not be judged. Matthew 7:1. You know where you’ve been, you don’t know where you’re going.

7 Biblical Principles for Building God Confidence (Self Esteem) in Your Children

Today I begin a series aimed at helping you to build self esteem or what I like to call God confidence in your children.

Step One: Speak positively into your child's life.

There is a story in the Bible which involves a fathers words or lack thereof.

Esau and Jacob were both sons of Isaac. According to the covenant God made with Abraham, who was Isaac's father, it was required that they pass on the blessing of God to their eldest son.

Now Isaac had every intention of doing this, but Isaac's younger son Jacob and Jacob's mother Rachel, tricked Jacob into giving this birthright to Isaac.

Esau was distraught. So much so that he hated his brother Jacob.

In this situation, Isaac could have diffused the situation by speking up. Instead he chose to remain silent and docile. As a result Esau spent many years in turmoil.

A parents encourging words can propel a child to greatness while a careless remark or lack thereof can send a child into a life long tail spin. As parents our words can shape our child's view of the world and their place in it.

The Bible teaches us that we have the power of life and death in ou rown tongues. Choose to speak life into your children. Avoid words and criticisms that lead to ridicule and shame. Be generous with praise. Catch your chidren doing good rather that seeking to catch them doing bad.

Your words make a difference in what your children believe about themselves

What were the last words you said to your child today? How can you use your words to build up and encourage your children each day?

Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an author, talk show host and inspirational speaker. Her new book The Minsitry of Motherhood will be released in May 2009. To learn more about Cheryl visit www.cheryllaceydonovan.com

Accept Your Children as They Are: God Does

One of the greatest needs our children have is that of acceptance. Believe me, the world is full of instruction on how to achieve it. But the ways of the world are not the ways of God. God's way is not about conforming, it's about being transformed. The only way this transformation can happen is by studying His word and letting it renew our minds.

Our children need to know that they were fearfully and wonderfully made in God's own image, as such, when they see themselves as God sees them, they will develop a healthy sense of self worth.

They will better understand that the only one from whom they need acceptance is God.

As a parent, don't try to mold them into what you want them to be. Instead help them to look for and become what God wants them to be. Understand that we are just steward to whom God has entrusted these little souls. When they don't meet your expectations, remember it's not your expectations they must meet. Our job is to nurture them and guide them into the acceptance of Christ and His plan for their lives.

Cheryl Lacey Donovan is the author of the soon to be released book the Ministry of Motherhood. She is also an inspirational speaker and talk show host. To learn more about Cheryl or to have her speak at your next event visit www.cheryllaceydonovan.com

Loving Yourself

The Bible teaches us to love our neighbors as ourselves. It goes on to say that this is one of the greatest commandments. You see, God knew that if we loved our neighbors as we love ourselves, our only choice would be to be kind to one another. The problem is many of us don’t love ourselves. Consequently, we can’t love anyone else.

So, you may be wondering, how do I begin to love myself? Well, there are many solutions we can employ to begin to love ourselves. I have listed several of them below.

1.) Remember that you have the power of life and death in your own tongue. Stop criticizing yourself. Be aware of your self talk. Speak to yourself in ways that are kind. Stop being your own worst critic. Criticism breaks the inner spirit and never changes anything. Release the old critical voices from the past and learn to keep them from impacting your future.
2.) Learn to speak positively about yourself. Use affirmations and speak of yourself the way God speaks of you. “You are more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ.” “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world” “You are the head and not the tail.” “You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.”
3.) Treat yourself well. I firmly believe that we teach people how to treat us, but when we don’t treat ourselves well, we can’t teach others to do the same. Find ways to pamper yourself and replenish your soul. Strengthen your inner self by reading the Word and meditating on it to find comfort.
4.) Understand that the love must come from you. Others cannot affirm or love you the way you can. Stop looking to parents, significant others, and even children to do what only you can do yourself.
5.) Accept yourself for who you are. Good, bad, or ugly, you are who you are. Come Understand yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. Start there and move on. If you find that there are some things about yourself that you don’t like, begin changing them. Acknowledge that you created your negative attitudes about yourself for a reason. Now you need to find new, more positive ways to fulfill those needs. If necessary, come to terms with those aspects of yourself that you cannot change.
6.) Be your own best friend. Like, trust, and respect yourself. See yourself through compassion the way you would a friend. Cut yourself some slack.
7.) Don’t judge yourself harshly. Try to understand where the judgment is coming from and deal with it head on.

It is important for each of us to remind ourselves that we are not perfect.

Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an author, educator, inspirational speaker, and talk show host. Visit her at www.cheryllaceydonovan.com

Cheryl Lacey Donovan speaks to Debra Duncan about "The Culture of Spanking"

Take a look at this archived video of Award Winning author Cheryl Lacey Donovan speaking to Debra Duncan of Great Day Houston about "The Culture of Spanking."

http://www.khou.com/greatday/family/?nvid=258160&shu=1

Obama's Father's Day Speech

In light of the fact that over 70% of the African American Households in the United States are devoid of a father figure, it is inspiring that one of their own is adddressing this issue. For far too long, single mothers in our community have had to bear the burden of childrearing all alone.

It is high time that we all come together for the sake of the children. If we don't the future of our race will be a dim one

Discipline vs. Punishment

Our best example of parenting, God praises, advises nurtures, encourages, teaches, and trains us. Teaching our children to live a Christian life should be done by precepts and examples. Being both reliable and trustworthy are essential because our children depend on us to be there for them. Patience and compassion go hand in hand as they mirror the patience and mercy of God upon us His children.

Communicating our expectations to our children through destructive criticism, lack of quality time, and dysfunctional marriages and families, destroys the relationships between parents and their children. It is not so much what we say but how we say it. Emphasizing the right things in the right ways. means giving them wholesome instruction and admonishing them properly. Your children do not require material things, they require time. Your children should always know that you love them.

"Sticks and Stones may break your bones but words will never hurt me" doesn't apply to parenting. Using words that deflate your child's self worth will have a lasting effect on their lives. Telling your children they will never amount to anything will only become a self fulfilling prophecy. You have the power of life and death in your own tongue. Speak peace, love, joy, and happiness into their lives. If, you always say that your children are bad, then what do you expect them to be. Remind your children about what God says about them. Help them to see themselves through God's eyes.

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it Proverbs 22:6

This is the Bibles commission to parents. But what does training really mean? Leading your children by faith to Christ and being a consistent example to them is the first step in training. Difficult but effective, leading by example communicates our commitment to live out the truth and reality of Jesus in our lives. Defined more by what we don't do than what we do as mothers, we must be diligent in our prayer life, in our church going, and in the way we interact with people on a daily basis. Knowing Christian doctrine, using Christian vernacular, and appearing Godly may fool outsiders, but it won't fool your children and it won't fool God. Seeing you as you really are, children are in the best position to be students of your life. Having the most insight into the relationship between what you say and what you do children become the best at deciphering hypocrisy from true Christian discipleship. Gossiping, lying to the bill collector, and constantly bashing our children's father are all poor examples of our faith walk with God. In fact, the very message that these attributes send is one of hypocrisy.

Picking and choosing our sins, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't cuss, is more about us than it is about being Christ like. Memorizing scripture is good but a personal relationship with God is the ultimate goal. Morality is not the only gauge by which we are measured. The cemetery is full of people that didn't do bad things. The question is, was their walk with God close enough to enter the kingdom of heaven. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

We can't make Christ a reality to our children if He is not a reality to us. Practice what you want them to practice. Children follow and imitate us. "Do as I say not as I do" is a poor motto to follow if you want to raise Godly children. Remember to teach them by example; your example. Learning not brought about by both example and instruction will lead to a child that does not respect the parents. Living out the Christian life through the Holy Spirit will be instruction to your children that Christ is real. Are you creating a desire for God in your children?

Understanding the difference between discipline and punishment is important as well. Punishments are given as a penalty for an offense. It is usually handed out in hostility and frustration and produces fear and guilt. The child senses this and the outcome is compromised. What the child learns instead is that we should solve problems with physical punishment and degrade the object of our anger in the process. The child's self image is diminished.

Discipline on the other hand is used to train and to correct. Discipline must be fair. It needs to be explained to and understood by the child if it is to be effective. Discipline must also be prompt, delivered as soon after the offense as possible. Finally, discipline must be terminal; no continued reminders, assured reacceptance. In an environment of discipline the child will learn life's requirements in the context of love and concern. At this point training can take place. This approach has as its goal the development of responsible behavior. It communicates caring to the child. In an environment of true discipline, the child understands the importance of these requirements for their future, for God, and for society.

When training is done effectively and consistently, the rod of correction is seldom necessary. Take the time to train your children in the way they should go.