Saturday, December 27, 2008

7 Biblical Principles for Building God Confidence (Self Esteem) in Your Children

Today I begin a series aimed at helping you to build self esteem or what I like to call God confidence in your children.

Step One: Speak positively into your child's life.

There is a story in the Bible which involves a fathers words or lack thereof.

Esau and Jacob were both sons of Isaac. According to the covenant God made with Abraham, who was Isaac's father, it was required that they pass on the blessing of God to their eldest son.

Now Isaac had every intention of doing this, but Isaac's younger son Jacob and Jacob's mother Rachel, tricked Jacob into giving this birthright to Isaac.

Esau was distraught. So much so that he hated his brother Jacob.

In this situation, Isaac could have diffused the situation by speking up. Instead he chose to remain silent and docile. As a result Esau spent many years in turmoil.

A parents encourging words can propel a child to greatness while a careless remark or lack thereof can send a child into a life long tail spin. As parents our words can shape our child's view of the world and their place in it.

The Bible teaches us that we have the power of life and death in ou rown tongues. Choose to speak life into your children. Avoid words and criticisms that lead to ridicule and shame. Be generous with praise. Catch your chidren doing good rather that seeking to catch them doing bad.

Your words make a difference in what your children believe about themselves

What were the last words you said to your child today? How can you use your words to build up and encourage your children each day?

Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an author, talk show host and inspirational speaker. Her new book The Minsitry of Motherhood will be released in May 2009. To learn more about Cheryl visit

Accept Your Children as They Are: God Does

One of the greatest needs our children have is that of acceptance. Believe me, the world is full of instruction on how to achieve it. But the ways of the world are not the ways of God. God's way is not about conforming, it's about being transformed. The only way this transformation can happen is by studying His word and letting it renew our minds.

Our children need to know that they were fearfully and wonderfully made in God's own image, as such, when they see themselves as God sees them, they will develop a healthy sense of self worth.

They will better understand that the only one from whom they need acceptance is God.

As a parent, don't try to mold them into what you want them to be. Instead help them to look for and become what God wants them to be. Understand that we are just steward to whom God has entrusted these little souls. When they don't meet your expectations, remember it's not your expectations they must meet. Our job is to nurture them and guide them into the acceptance of Christ and His plan for their lives.

Cheryl Lacey Donovan is the author of the soon to be released book the Ministry of Motherhood. She is also an inspirational speaker and talk show host. To learn more about Cheryl or to have her speak at your next event visit

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Loving Yourself

The Bible teaches us to love our neighbors as ourselves. It goes on to say that this is one of the greatest commandments. You see, God knew that if we loved our neighbors as we love ourselves, our only choice would be to be kind to one another. The problem is many of us don’t love ourselves. Consequently, we can’t love anyone else.

So, you may be wondering, how do I begin to love myself? Well, there are many solutions we can employ to begin to love ourselves. I have listed several of them below.

1.) Remember that you have the power of life and death in your own tongue. Stop criticizing yourself. Be aware of your self talk. Speak to yourself in ways that are kind. Stop being your own worst critic. Criticism breaks the inner spirit and never changes anything. Release the old critical voices from the past and learn to keep them from impacting your future.
2.) Learn to speak positively about yourself. Use affirmations and speak of yourself the way God speaks of you. “You are more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ.” “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world” “You are the head and not the tail.” “You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.”
3.) Treat yourself well. I firmly believe that we teach people how to treat us, but when we don’t treat ourselves well, we can’t teach others to do the same. Find ways to pamper yourself and replenish your soul. Strengthen your inner self by reading the Word and meditating on it to find comfort.
4.) Understand that the love must come from you. Others cannot affirm or love you the way you can. Stop looking to parents, significant others, and even children to do what only you can do yourself.
5.) Accept yourself for who you are. Good, bad, or ugly, you are who you are. Come Understand yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. Start there and move on. If you find that there are some things about yourself that you don’t like, begin changing them. Acknowledge that you created your negative attitudes about yourself for a reason. Now you need to find new, more positive ways to fulfill those needs. If necessary, come to terms with those aspects of yourself that you cannot change.
6.) Be your own best friend. Like, trust, and respect yourself. See yourself through compassion the way you would a friend. Cut yourself some slack.
7.) Don’t judge yourself harshly. Try to understand where the judgment is coming from and deal with it head on.

It is important for each of us to remind ourselves that we are not perfect.

Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an author, educator, inspirational speaker, and talk show host. Visit her at

Friday, July 4, 2008

Cheryl Lacey Donovan speaks to Debra Duncan about "The Culture of Spanking"

Take a look at this archived video of Award Winning author Cheryl Lacey Donovan speaking to Debra Duncan of Great Day Houston about "The Culture of Spanking."

Monday, June 16, 2008

Obama's Father's Day Speech

In light of the fact that over 70% of the African American Households in the United States are devoid of a father figure, it is inspiring that one of their own is adddressing this issue. For far too long, single mothers in our community have had to bear the burden of childrearing all alone.

It is high time that we all come together for the sake of the children. If we don't the future of our race will be a dim one

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Discipline vs. Punishment

Our best example of parenting, God praises, advises nurtures, encourages, teaches, and trains us. Teaching our children to live a Christian life should be done by precepts and examples. Being both reliable and trustworthy are essential because our children depend on us to be there for them. Patience and compassion go hand in hand as they mirror the patience and mercy of God upon us His children.

Communicating our expectations to our children through destructive criticism, lack of quality time, and dysfunctional marriages and families, destroys the relationships between parents and their children. It is not so much what we say but how we say it. Emphasizing the right things in the right ways. means giving them wholesome instruction and admonishing them properly. Your children do not require material things, they require time. Your children should always know that you love them.

"Sticks and Stones may break your bones but words will never hurt me" doesn't apply to parenting. Using words that deflate your child's self worth will have a lasting effect on their lives. Telling your children they will never amount to anything will only become a self fulfilling prophecy. You have the power of life and death in your own tongue. Speak peace, love, joy, and happiness into their lives. If, you always say that your children are bad, then what do you expect them to be. Remind your children about what God says about them. Help them to see themselves through God's eyes.

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it Proverbs 22:6

This is the Bibles commission to parents. But what does training really mean? Leading your children by faith to Christ and being a consistent example to them is the first step in training. Difficult but effective, leading by example communicates our commitment to live out the truth and reality of Jesus in our lives. Defined more by what we don't do than what we do as mothers, we must be diligent in our prayer life, in our church going, and in the way we interact with people on a daily basis. Knowing Christian doctrine, using Christian vernacular, and appearing Godly may fool outsiders, but it won't fool your children and it won't fool God. Seeing you as you really are, children are in the best position to be students of your life. Having the most insight into the relationship between what you say and what you do children become the best at deciphering hypocrisy from true Christian discipleship. Gossiping, lying to the bill collector, and constantly bashing our children's father are all poor examples of our faith walk with God. In fact, the very message that these attributes send is one of hypocrisy.

Picking and choosing our sins, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't cuss, is more about us than it is about being Christ like. Memorizing scripture is good but a personal relationship with God is the ultimate goal. Morality is not the only gauge by which we are measured. The cemetery is full of people that didn't do bad things. The question is, was their walk with God close enough to enter the kingdom of heaven. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

We can't make Christ a reality to our children if He is not a reality to us. Practice what you want them to practice. Children follow and imitate us. "Do as I say not as I do" is a poor motto to follow if you want to raise Godly children. Remember to teach them by example; your example. Learning not brought about by both example and instruction will lead to a child that does not respect the parents. Living out the Christian life through the Holy Spirit will be instruction to your children that Christ is real. Are you creating a desire for God in your children?

Understanding the difference between discipline and punishment is important as well. Punishments are given as a penalty for an offense. It is usually handed out in hostility and frustration and produces fear and guilt. The child senses this and the outcome is compromised. What the child learns instead is that we should solve problems with physical punishment and degrade the object of our anger in the process. The child's self image is diminished.

Discipline on the other hand is used to train and to correct. Discipline must be fair. It needs to be explained to and understood by the child if it is to be effective. Discipline must also be prompt, delivered as soon after the offense as possible. Finally, discipline must be terminal; no continued reminders, assured reacceptance. In an environment of discipline the child will learn life's requirements in the context of love and concern. At this point training can take place. This approach has as its goal the development of responsible behavior. It communicates caring to the child. In an environment of true discipline, the child understands the importance of these requirements for their future, for God, and for society.

When training is done effectively and consistently, the rod of correction is seldom necessary. Take the time to train your children in the way they should go.

Award Winning Author Cheryl Lacey Donovan to appear on Great Day Houston

Sandra Thomas
A Virtuous Woman-31
11601 Shadow Creek Pkwy
Pearland, Texas 77584
(832) 615-1197 ext. 702

June 15, 2008 Coming from a legacy of preachers, Cheryl Lacey Donovan is walking in her destiny. An anointed woman of God, her mission is to challenge you to look inside yourself for change, to identify the strongholds in your life, and to tear them down with the help of the creator. Once you have crossed her path, your life will never be the same. Cheryl hit the scene with full force when she penned her award winning book Women What the Hell are You Thinking. Cheryl shows no signs of slowing down as she travels the country speaking to women about issues that resonate within their souls.
Cheryl’s internet radio show Worth More Than Rubies reaches thousands of women each week with educational, inspiring, and thought provoking programming that gives women a platform to discuss their issues and design a plan for change. The show will soon go into production as a 30 minute cable TV talk show.

On June 26, 2008, at 9:00am CST, Cheryl will appear on Great Day Houston with Debra Duncan to discuss issues related to child rearing practices. "Titus 2 admonishes older women to teach younger women how to love their children.” Cheryl has taken up the mantle to do just that. Her articles, “Are African American Child Rearing Practices a Direct Result of Slavery” and “Discipline vs. Punishment”, give amazing insight into the art of balancing discipline and training. Her upcoming release "The Ministry of Motherhood" delivers a bold message about responsibility and accountability by explaining the keys to the ministry involved with being a mother. Use these keys to unlock the secret and discover the real truth. It is through the gift of the written word that Cheryl ignites flames, delivering a powerful message of hope and inspiration, through faith and family, you will be inspired to change, forced to make a difference and will realize the importance of motherhood, through and through.

About The Author
Cheryl Donovan is an acclaimed author, inspirational speaker, and compelling advocate for personal empowerment. Her book Women What the Hell are You Thinking remained in the top 10 of Amazons Hot New Releases during its first two months of publication.
Cheryl believes in Psalms 11:25 which says, She who refreshes others will herself be refreshed; therefore, she tries to be transparent as she speaks and writes about her valley to mountain experiences
Cheryl has been recognized nationally for her work. She has been the featured author on radio talk shows such as Artist First, Power Talk FM, An Hour to Empower with Mo and Mickey, and Urban Echoes Voices and Vibes. Her interviews have also appeared in Empowering African American Women Magazine, AA Kulture Zone, The Book Suite, and Women’s Self Esteem. She was awarded the 2007 Literary Power Award and was nominated in several categories for the Infini Awards. Cheryl will be featured for the inaugural season of What Shall We Read, a literary program which airs on CAN-TV in Chicago. She will also be inducted into the 2008 Who’s Who in Black Houston.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

How Do You Spell S-U-C-C-E-S-S- for Your Children?

Developing success in our children begins when we align our vision with God's. Generally our vision of success is is direct contrast to God's vision. His vision of success doesn't entail materialism. It doesn't include a fancy car, a nice home, or a substantial bank account. Instead God's view of success is detemined when the child can live a fulfilled life before God and man, exhibiting obedience to God's will, and maintaining a loving relationship with his parents.

The first step in assuring our children's success is realizing God desires our children to understand they were created by Him.

Psalms 139: 13-14 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

This passage of scripture teaches us God wants us to see ourselves as He sees us. As parents we are charged with ensuring our children understand the care God took in making us. God doesn't make junk. When we teach our children this simple principle, their self worth is fortified. When we fail to instill this message the enemy is able to infiltrate their minds and they become like Moses and are afraid of God's plan for their lives.

Exodus 3:11 But Moses protested to God, “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?”

Exodus 4: 10-14 Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” But Moses again pleaded, “Lord, please! Send anyone else.” Then the Lord became angry with Moses. “All right,” he said. “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he speaks well. And look! He is on his way to meet you now. He will be delighted to see you.

The second step in assuring our children's success rests in remembering our children are a reward from God. As parents we shouldn't treat our children as though they are an annoyance. Devaluing them by pushing them to the side and sending them away to another room as if they are a bother to us is not biblical. They need to be heard and understood. We can learn a lot from their child-like character, their innocence and their wonderment. We believe our children were given to us for what we could do for them. Instead we should understand what they can do for us.

Matthew 18: 2-5 For an answer Jesus called over a child, whom he stood in the middle of the room, and said, "I'm telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you're not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God's kingdom. What's more, when you receive the childlike on my account, it's the same as receiving me.

The value you Jesus places on children is seen throughout the scriptures. As parents we have no right to undermine God's view of our children by ignoring them, shifting the responsibility of raising them to others, or replacing our time with them with material possessions.

Mark 10: 13-16 One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him. When Jesus saw what was happening, he was angry with his disciples. He said to them, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” Then he took the children in his arms and placed his hands on their heads and blessed them.

Satan has one goal for our children and the following verses reveal his plan.

John 8: 44 For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.

John 10:10 The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life

1 Peter 5: 8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.

Therefore, the third step in assuring our children's success is to be diligent in looking for his presence and to rebuke him at all turns.

Satans primary tools for achieving his goal include parents, children, the world, and society. Take a look at these scriptures.

Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your children while you still have the chance; indulging them
destroys them.

The world would have us believe disipline is wrong. It would also have us to believe the use of extension cords, broom handles, and other objects are considered tools of discipline. Both of these schools of thought are wrong.

There is a difference between discipline and punishment. Punishment involves penalty for offense and is given in hostility and frustration which produces fear and guilt. Discipline trains and corrects and is given out of love and concern.

When done according to Godly principles, discipline will lead to children who exhibit, responsible behavior christ-like behavior.

Satan also uses our children and the world to their detriment.

Proverbs 5: 7 So now, my sons, listen to me. Never stray from what I am about to say:
Proverbs 5: 12-14 You will say, “How I hated discipline! If only I had not ignored all the warnings! Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers? Why didn’t I pay attention to my instructors? I have come to the brink of utter ruin, and now I must face public disgrace.”
Proverbs 15:10 Whoever abandons the right path will be severely disciplined; whoever hates correction will die.

Mark 4:19 but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced.

1 Corinthians 15:33 Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”

The world does a good job of teaching our children the fierce competitiveness that it has to offer. Children whose parents are not involved, usually find themselves cast aside and left behind. If we have not done our job the world can easily lead our children astray. God has promised us if we train our children in the way they should go, when they are old they will not depart from it. No one can guarantee that our children will heed what we have told them. Our children are ultimately responsible for making the final decision, but if we have given them the proper foundation, the chances are, they will make the right choice. How do you spell S-U-C-C-E-S-S?

Saturday, March 22, 2008

A Prayer for Families

Lord Your name is Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and the Prince of Peace. You are Worthy to be praised.

Father, I declare that families will live in peaceful, safe, and quiet homes. I confess that husband's will love their wives as Christ loved the church. I confess that wives will respect their husbands. I declare that husbands will be good men, good providers, good fathers, and the priests, and prophets in their households. I declare that they will not be given to wine, abuse, greediness or neglect. I come against arguing, domestic violence, lying, cheating, rebellion, disobedience, and cruelty in familes. I confess that no weapon formed against them will proser and everything that the devil meant for evil, You, O God, will turn around for good.

Father, where there is strife in families, I ask that you turn those hearts back to one another. Create in them a clean heart and renew a right spirit in them. Lord, I declare that parents will not provoke their children to anger,but will bring them up in the prayer and admonition of the Lord. Holy Spirit, please help our singles to live in godliness and contentment. For those who desire a mate give them the strenght to wait on your perfect timing for their lives. Surround children with Your favor and your love. Let peace love and understanding move from heart to heart and breast to breast in our families.

Father forgive families for sin. Forgive us for bittnerness, resentment, unkindness, fear, financial mismanagement, poor parenting, and abuse. Replace these with the fruit of the spirit, love, kindness, and self control. Remind us to forgive others.

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

Yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever, Amen.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Ministry of Motherhood Teleconferences Coming Soon

For Immediate Release April 2008
Shayla Simone
Peace In The Storm Publishing
P.O. Box 1152
Pocono Summit, PA 18346
(862) 215-2980 phone
(570) 643-6424 fax

Coming from a legacy of preachers, Cheryl Lacey Donovan is walking in her destiny. An anointed woman of God, her mission is to challenge you to look inside yourself for change, to identify the strongholds in your life, and to tear them down with the help of the creator. Once you have crossed her path, your life will never be the same.

On May 1, 2008, Cheryl will launch the first in a series of teleconferences aimed at teaching mothers how to raise their children.

“Titus 2 admonishes older women to teach younger women how to love their children. “The Ministry of Motherhood” teleconferences have been designed to do just that. We will use biblical principles and well learned life lessons to encourage mothers to rear their children in such a way that God will receive all the glory.”

The initial lesson is entitled “Claim Your Reward.” Sometimes in our busy lives mothers see children as an annoyance. This session reminds mothers that their children are a reward from God. It explores the fact that children are not just given to mothers for what mothers can do for them, but for what children can do for mothers as well.

The teleconference will begin at 7:00pm. Anyone interested in registering for the conference can visit

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Mother's Claim Your Reward

Psalms 127: 3-5 Children are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in ones youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

In our society, children are many times seen as liabilities rather than assets. But, the Bible says that they are a reward from God. Believe it or not, we can learn a lot from children. Their very nature is one of love, trust, and enthusiasm for life. They believe that they can do all things.

God reminds us of His high esteem for children in Matthew 19:14 when He tells the disciples suffer the children to come unto me for such is the kingdom of heaven. He also says that unless ye become as little children you will not enter into the kingdom.

To believe that children are merely an annoyance is a mistake. Instead, you should see them as your opportunity to mold the future. If God Himself has placed such high regard on children, who are you to ignore them.

Your children are God’s assignment. God has commissioned you to raise your children in the admonition of Him. Don’t become derelict in your duty.

The Ministry of Motherhood has been planned to help you as you endeavor to raise your children to the honor and glory of the Lord. . Here you will learn who is responsible for training your children, how you are to love your children, how to teach your children about responsibility, and how to teach your children to honor you, among other things. Visit us often so that you can gain insight into this ministry that we call motherhood Claim your reward.