Part 3 Apply Your Findings
In her book, Rivadeneira works through the reasons God cares about our individual
identities and how God makes himself known to his people. She also shows women why
it’s not selfish to long to be known and loved for their true selves—as opposed to “just” as mom—and that in fact, revealing the complete woman God made you to be is key to doing “kingdom work.”
While acknowledging that the church hasn’t been particularly helpful in this area,
Rivadeneira also believes that if women want this change, they need to be willing to make it themselves. To help women reveal their real identities and live as God intended them to, she suggests moms need to do such things as:
* Get over the false guilt that keeps you from living as the woman God made you to
be.
* Find out what your “identity in Christ” really looks like. What misconceptions are
you harboring?
* Discover who God sees when he looks at you.
* Identify your gifts.
* Describe yourself in ways that show a piece of the real you.
* Treasure—don’t resent—your limitations.
* Become vulnerable.
She believes doing each of these things—along with drawing out and encouraging other
women—helps each of us live the life God created us to live, by blessing others and
ultimately changing the world through our God-given gifts.
Rivadeneira writes at the end of her book that this is all “pretty exciting stuff when you think that God has ordained each of us to share his grace and love and to transform the world for him! We are called to do it certainly through our children and through our roles as moms, but in all the other ways you’ve discovered as well.”
Discussion Questions
[Q] Do you find the call to transform the world through your children and other gifts
exciting or overwhelming, or both? Why?
[Q] In what ways do you believe God may be calling you to use your gifts to change the world or to show love and grace to another mom? “Mama’s Got a Fake I.D.”
[Q] What can you do today or this week to change the way others see you and your
contributions to the world?
— Ingrid Ramos is a freelance editor and writer. She lives with her family in the
suburbs of Chicago.
©2009 Christianity Today International ChristianBibleStudies.com
Showing posts with label mothers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mothers. Show all posts
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Mama's Fake ID Teaching Point Three: Valuing moms for their unique selves is a means
“Mama’s Got a Fake I.D.”
Any mom who’s felt subject to stereotypes and assumptions, the loneliness of not fitting in, or the hurt of not living up to those stereotypes, knows how wonderful it feels to ultimately become known—and valued. In fact, getting to know another mom as a complete, gifted, specially made child of God, and then loving her because of—and in spite of—who she is, can be a way of showing grace to that woman.
This is what God does with us (Psalm 139), and something we see Jesus do time and again in the Gospels. Read John 4:1–26 and Luke 19:1–10. Consider how Jesus’ talking to, getting to know, and extending truth and grace to the Samaritan woman and Zacchaeus transformed their lives. If we are truly following in the way of Jesus, we should follow this example with one another. This act of being known—for good or for bad—and loved is a picture of the transforming love of Jesus. Since moms want this in their own lives, it’s a wonderful, affirming way to live out the “Golden Rule.”
Discussion Questions
[Q] Think about some ways you feel you’ve been labeled with a “fake I.D.” What are some ways the church could take the lead in getting to know women beyond any one role?
[Q] How has it felt when someone asks about you as a woman—not you as a mom? What’s
the difference between the two?
[Q] What does it tell you about the heart of Jesus that he took time to chat with the
Samaritan woman and Zacchaeus—two people who didn’t fit it?
[Q] What do Jesus’ actions of reaching out to these “misfits” tell you about how we should handle women in our congregation who might not fit traditional molds? Who are some moms Jesus might be calling you to reach out to right now?
[Q] What are some questions you wish others would ask you about yourself? How willing
are you to ask the same of other women?
©2009 Christianity Today International ChristianBibleStudies.com
Any mom who’s felt subject to stereotypes and assumptions, the loneliness of not fitting in, or the hurt of not living up to those stereotypes, knows how wonderful it feels to ultimately become known—and valued. In fact, getting to know another mom as a complete, gifted, specially made child of God, and then loving her because of—and in spite of—who she is, can be a way of showing grace to that woman.
This is what God does with us (Psalm 139), and something we see Jesus do time and again in the Gospels. Read John 4:1–26 and Luke 19:1–10. Consider how Jesus’ talking to, getting to know, and extending truth and grace to the Samaritan woman and Zacchaeus transformed their lives. If we are truly following in the way of Jesus, we should follow this example with one another. This act of being known—for good or for bad—and loved is a picture of the transforming love of Jesus. Since moms want this in their own lives, it’s a wonderful, affirming way to live out the “Golden Rule.”
Discussion Questions
[Q] Think about some ways you feel you’ve been labeled with a “fake I.D.” What are some ways the church could take the lead in getting to know women beyond any one role?
[Q] How has it felt when someone asks about you as a woman—not you as a mom? What’s
the difference between the two?
[Q] What does it tell you about the heart of Jesus that he took time to chat with the
Samaritan woman and Zacchaeus—two people who didn’t fit it?
[Q] What do Jesus’ actions of reaching out to these “misfits” tell you about how we should handle women in our congregation who might not fit traditional molds? Who are some moms Jesus might be calling you to reach out to right now?
[Q] What are some questions you wish others would ask you about yourself? How willing
are you to ask the same of other women?
©2009 Christianity Today International ChristianBibleStudies.com
Monday, February 15, 2010
Mama's Fake IDTeaching Point Two: Jesus expects you to live out your gifts.
Read Luke 12:35–48.
Jesus uses startling and violent images in this passage on “watchfulness” to drive home the need for his followers to use what they’ve been entrusted with to spread his gospel until he returns. Verse 48 famously says, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”
Each of God’s children has been given much—in the way of spiritual gifts, natural abilities, tangible blessings—and moms are no exception. Children are but one of the many (and certainly, the most amazing) gifts with which God chooses to bless people. But they don’t cancel out every other gift. If they did, one might expect Jesus to follow up this powerful passage with, “Unless, of course, you have kids. In that case, don’t worry about it.”
While oftentimes mothers may wish Jesus had said that, he didn’t. And God still longs for you— expects you even—to use what you’ve been given. Because the gifts he gives—kids included—all have kingdom purposes. Everyone has been “entrusted” with a variety of custom-made gifts intended to further the kingdom of God here on earth.
At the end of chapter 13 (“How to Help Other Moms Get Real”), Rivadeneira writes,
“Remember, God made you the way he did to meet needs (feed hungry stomachs, hang with
lonely people, seek justice) and reach people (those who are hurting and suffering and desperate for saving grace) all in his name, in your own way” (p. 187).
Discussion Questions
[Q] How do Jesus’ alarming words about servants being beaten for not using what they’ve been entrusted with affect the way you feel about gifts you haven’t used or valued?
[Q] One could argue that the gift of children “trumps” our other gifts from God. How do you feel or think about that? Do you believe God expects us to put our gifts on hold until our children grow up? Why or why not?
[Q] Read Luke 10:38–42 and Mark 14:3–9. Rivadeneira uses these two stories about Mary
of Bethany to show how Jesus treasures our gifts even when they don’t fit what other people expect from us or assume we should do. What do these stories mean to you as a mother?
[Q] Have you ever tried to offer a gift and been met with ridicule or rebuke, as happened to Mary? What was your response? How do you imagine Jesus would respond?
[Q] How have you experienced your particular gifts, passions, or personality reaching the world for Jesus? How might you continue to use what you’ve been entrusted with—as a mother and a woman—to reach this needy world?
©2009 Christianity Today International ChristianBibleStudies.com
Jesus uses startling and violent images in this passage on “watchfulness” to drive home the need for his followers to use what they’ve been entrusted with to spread his gospel until he returns. Verse 48 famously says, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”
Each of God’s children has been given much—in the way of spiritual gifts, natural abilities, tangible blessings—and moms are no exception. Children are but one of the many (and certainly, the most amazing) gifts with which God chooses to bless people. But they don’t cancel out every other gift. If they did, one might expect Jesus to follow up this powerful passage with, “Unless, of course, you have kids. In that case, don’t worry about it.”
While oftentimes mothers may wish Jesus had said that, he didn’t. And God still longs for you— expects you even—to use what you’ve been given. Because the gifts he gives—kids included—all have kingdom purposes. Everyone has been “entrusted” with a variety of custom-made gifts intended to further the kingdom of God here on earth.
At the end of chapter 13 (“How to Help Other Moms Get Real”), Rivadeneira writes,
“Remember, God made you the way he did to meet needs (feed hungry stomachs, hang with
lonely people, seek justice) and reach people (those who are hurting and suffering and desperate for saving grace) all in his name, in your own way” (p. 187).
Discussion Questions
[Q] How do Jesus’ alarming words about servants being beaten for not using what they’ve been entrusted with affect the way you feel about gifts you haven’t used or valued?
[Q] One could argue that the gift of children “trumps” our other gifts from God. How do you feel or think about that? Do you believe God expects us to put our gifts on hold until our children grow up? Why or why not?
[Q] Read Luke 10:38–42 and Mark 14:3–9. Rivadeneira uses these two stories about Mary
of Bethany to show how Jesus treasures our gifts even when they don’t fit what other people expect from us or assume we should do. What do these stories mean to you as a mother?
[Q] Have you ever tried to offer a gift and been met with ridicule or rebuke, as happened to Mary? What was your response? How do you imagine Jesus would respond?
[Q] How have you experienced your particular gifts, passions, or personality reaching the world for Jesus? How might you continue to use what you’ve been entrusted with—as a mother and a woman—to reach this needy world?
©2009 Christianity Today International ChristianBibleStudies.com
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Mon's Fake I.D. Teaching Point One: God sees you as having more than one role.
Part 2 Discover the Eternal Principles
Read Psalm 139.
When David wrote these words, he was rejoicing in a God who saw him as more than any of his roles—more than a shepherd, more than a giant-slayer, more than a poet, a king, or a man on the run. He wrote beautifully of a God who knew him intimately—and who took the time to “search” and “know” him (v. 1). Certainly, this is no different for moms today. God values all of who he made you to be, and has specific purposes for the way he made you.
In chapter 4, Rivadeneira writes, “Think about the people you know that intimately: your spouse, your kids, maybe your closest friend, your parents. We know that much detail only about the people we love deeply—and are interested in the most. It’s the same with God. He knows us like that not only because he loves us but because he is vitally, untiringly interested in us. God finds you—as his creation, as his child—interesting and worth knowing. Why shouldn’t everyone else?” (p. 56).
Discussion Questions
[Q] Think of a time when you felt reduced to just one role. Did you feel that this was as God wanted it to be? Why or why not?
[Q] What does it mean to you that God takes time to search and know you? What does that say about why you may want others to do the same?
[Q] How do you feel knowing that God finds you interesting? Is that easy for you to
believe? Why or why not?
[Q] Psalm 139:16 says, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” In what ways—if any—have you been made to feel that motherhood is the conclusion of God’s “book” for you?
[Q] What does your heart as a mother—and the way you care about your kids’ individual
identities and your desire to see them use their gifts—tell you about how God feels about you as a gifted, beloved child of God?
©2009 Christianity Today International ChristianBibleStudies.com
Read Psalm 139.
When David wrote these words, he was rejoicing in a God who saw him as more than any of his roles—more than a shepherd, more than a giant-slayer, more than a poet, a king, or a man on the run. He wrote beautifully of a God who knew him intimately—and who took the time to “search” and “know” him (v. 1). Certainly, this is no different for moms today. God values all of who he made you to be, and has specific purposes for the way he made you.
In chapter 4, Rivadeneira writes, “Think about the people you know that intimately: your spouse, your kids, maybe your closest friend, your parents. We know that much detail only about the people we love deeply—and are interested in the most. It’s the same with God. He knows us like that not only because he loves us but because he is vitally, untiringly interested in us. God finds you—as his creation, as his child—interesting and worth knowing. Why shouldn’t everyone else?” (p. 56).
Discussion Questions
[Q] Think of a time when you felt reduced to just one role. Did you feel that this was as God wanted it to be? Why or why not?
[Q] What does it mean to you that God takes time to search and know you? What does that say about why you may want others to do the same?
[Q] How do you feel knowing that God finds you interesting? Is that easy for you to
believe? Why or why not?
[Q] Psalm 139:16 says, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” In what ways—if any—have you been made to feel that motherhood is the conclusion of God’s “book” for you?
[Q] What does your heart as a mother—and the way you care about your kids’ individual
identities and your desire to see them use their gifts—tell you about how God feels about you as a gifted, beloved child of God?
©2009 Christianity Today International ChristianBibleStudies.com
Friday, February 5, 2010
Mama's Got a Fake I.D.
Part 1 Identify the Current Issue
This study works best if you have read the book Mama’s Got a Fake I.D. , by Caryn Dahlstrand Rivadeneira.
Whether on Oprah, in magazines, or at a local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group, you’ll hear a similar theme from today’s moms (and you know this if you are one!): they wrestle with a sense of having lost who they are in the mix of love and responsibility that comes with being a mom. As much as they love their kids and they love being moms, this loss of identity leaves many women feeling lonely, anonymous, and frustrated. This particularly frustrates Christian moms, who feel the additional sting of wondering what God has in store for them now that they are moms—especially if their gifts don’t match their new mom role. While they may once have felt solid in their God-given gifts and purpose, motherhood can reduce many women to feeling unable to do anything right—or well—and wondering if God didn’t make a mistake in the way he gifted them, or even by giving them children.
While churches do a great job of supporting the mom role in general, many moms feel they don’t do a good job supporting women who deal with these issues. In fact, Rivadeneira contends that many Christians push the idea that once you become a mom, God’s only use for you is to raise godly kids and help out in the church nursery. In the beginning of chapter 4 (“Why God Cares About Who You Are”), Rivadeneira writes that this is the reason why “being a mom who wants to be used by God in a wide variety of ways can feel so selfish even when we know it’s not. But because there are so many well-meaning Christians who really do think moms should be happy to invest everything they have in their children, I think we moms need to explore the will of God for women whom he has blessed with children. God cares about us as people, not just as mothers” (p. 53).
Discussion Starters:
[Q] In what ways have you felt a loss of identity in your role as a mom? Where or when do you feel this most acutely?
[Q] How has your sense of purpose or giftedness changed since you became a mom? Do
you now feel that God expects something different from you, or that he wants you to
“shelve” some of your gifts and abilities for a while?
[Q] What’s been your experience at church regarding your role as mom versus you as a more well-rounded woman? Are you made to feel selfish, as Rivadeneira writes, for wanting to be used by God in a variety of ways and not just in your mom role?
©2009 Christianity Today International ChristianBibleStudies.com
This study works best if you have read the book Mama’s Got a Fake I.D. , by Caryn Dahlstrand Rivadeneira.
Whether on Oprah, in magazines, or at a local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group, you’ll hear a similar theme from today’s moms (and you know this if you are one!): they wrestle with a sense of having lost who they are in the mix of love and responsibility that comes with being a mom. As much as they love their kids and they love being moms, this loss of identity leaves many women feeling lonely, anonymous, and frustrated. This particularly frustrates Christian moms, who feel the additional sting of wondering what God has in store for them now that they are moms—especially if their gifts don’t match their new mom role. While they may once have felt solid in their God-given gifts and purpose, motherhood can reduce many women to feeling unable to do anything right—or well—and wondering if God didn’t make a mistake in the way he gifted them, or even by giving them children.
While churches do a great job of supporting the mom role in general, many moms feel they don’t do a good job supporting women who deal with these issues. In fact, Rivadeneira contends that many Christians push the idea that once you become a mom, God’s only use for you is to raise godly kids and help out in the church nursery. In the beginning of chapter 4 (“Why God Cares About Who You Are”), Rivadeneira writes that this is the reason why “being a mom who wants to be used by God in a wide variety of ways can feel so selfish even when we know it’s not. But because there are so many well-meaning Christians who really do think moms should be happy to invest everything they have in their children, I think we moms need to explore the will of God for women whom he has blessed with children. God cares about us as people, not just as mothers” (p. 53).
Discussion Starters:
[Q] In what ways have you felt a loss of identity in your role as a mom? Where or when do you feel this most acutely?
[Q] How has your sense of purpose or giftedness changed since you became a mom? Do
you now feel that God expects something different from you, or that he wants you to
“shelve” some of your gifts and abilities for a while?
[Q] What’s been your experience at church regarding your role as mom versus you as a more well-rounded woman? Are you made to feel selfish, as Rivadeneira writes, for wanting to be used by God in a variety of ways and not just in your mom role?
©2009 Christianity Today International ChristianBibleStudies.com
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
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Sunday, January 11, 2009
Ann Coulter Said What about Single Mothers
I have posted some of Ann Coulter's comments because I want to make sure that I don't misquote her idiotic comments when I respond. Listen first and then read what I have to say.
Ann Coulter hasn’t written New York Times bestselling books. She’s just had a hell of a publicity machine behind her. In fact, my writing this response further enhances her ultimate goal which is to sell books. It’s not lost on the publishing industry that even trash can sell if you have the right marketing and promotions to back you up. Such is the case with Coulter.
Obviously Coulter has done her research when it comes to single mothers, but, I would be hard pressed to believe she has ever spoken to a single mother one on one?
I was a single mother until my oldest son turned 10. Neither of my two sons ended up as strippers. I never utilized the welfare system and I worked hard to make sure that my boys stayed out of trouble. I had a wonderful support system and I trusted in the God that Coulter professes to know. I was not a victim and I did not respond as such. I took responsibility and held myself accountable for my choices; good or bad. To insinuate that because society wants to help single mothers means that we are glorifying not getting married and raising a full family is insane. Most single mothers would tell you they would love to have a warm, loving, responsible, husband and father in theirs and their children’s lives. In fact, many of them like me were married at one time, but due to domestic violence death and other misfortune, these marriages did not work. I guess next you’ll be telling us that’s our fault, too.
Let’s suffice it to say, if you were ever a victim of a crime, you don’t have this single mother to thank: "Victim of a Crime? Thank a Single Mother"
"It is a mark of how attractive it is to be a phony victim that divorcées will often claim to belong to the more disreputable category of "single mothers." [Page 36]
The audacity of Coulter to call single mothers disreputable! The dictionary defines disreputable as disgracing the reputation, lacking respectability in character. To the contrary, I brought honor to the reputation of motherhood. I was an integral part of my children’s academic career, I saw too it each of them were prepared for and attended college, I was PTA Vice president, Team Mom, and whatever else was necessary to make sure they became productive citizens in this society.
Coulter writes: "Single motherhood is like a farm team for future criminals and social outcasts." [Page 38]
Neither of my children are criminals or social outcasts. In fact, my oldest son graduated high school when he was 16 and is now teaching in the local school district.
My children are not alone, here is a list of other children who grew up in a single parent household.
Alexander Hamilton - President Gen. George Washington - President Thomas Jefferson - President James Monroe - President Andrew Jackson - President Andrew Johnson - President Rutherford B. Hayes - President Herbert Hoover - President Grover Cleveland - President Gerald Ford - President William Jefferson Clinton - President Barack Obama - U.S. Supreme Court Justice James Wilson - U.S. Supreme Court Justice John Rutledge - John Hancock - U.S. Supreme Court Justice Stephen Johnson Field - U.S. Supreme Court Justice Thomas Todd - U.S. Supreme Court Justice David Davis - U.S. Supreme Court Justice John McKinley - U.S. Supreme Court Ch. Justice (and U.S. Treasury Secretary) Salmon P. Chase - U.S. Supreme Court Justice Melville Fuller - U.S. Supreme Court Ch. Justice Edward D. White - U.S. Supreme Court Justice Benjamin N. Cardozo - U.S. Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas - U.S. Supreme Court Justice James F. Byrnes - U.S. Supreme Court Justice Arthur J. Goldberg - U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas - Frederick Douglas - Gen. Robert E. Lee - Booker T. Washington - Benjamin Rush - Stephen Colbert - George Mason - Fr. Gen. Marquis de Lafayette - U.S. Senator Henry Clay - William Tecumseh Sherman - Meriwether Lewis - Eleanor Roosevelt - Jackie Robinson - Mark Twain - George Washington Carver - Nathanial Hawthorne - Eli Whitney Jr. - U.S. House Majority Leader Steny Hamilton Hoyer - Michael Phelps - Linus Carl Pauling - Aristotle - Nicolas Copernicus - Sir Isaac Newton - Mahatma Gandhi - Leonardo da Vinci - Confucius - Jesus of Nazareth - Queen Elizabeth I - Jean-Jacques Rousseau - William Blackstone - Annie Mansfield Sullivan - Alexander Fleming - Nelson Mandela - Catherine the Great of Russia - Robert Frost - Langston Hughes - Alexandre Dumas - Gen. Alexander Haig - Alabama Governor Bibb Graves - New York Governor Al Smith - Tennessee Governor Sam Houston - Indiana Supreme Court Justice William Allen Woods - U.S. Senator Al Sharpton - U.S. Senator Senator Robert C. "Bob" Smith - U.S. Senator John Ensign - U.S. Senator Bella Abzug - U.S. Senator William Warren "Bill" Bradley - U.S. Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan - Queen Victoria of Britain - Alan Greenspan - Plato - Alessandro Volta - Jim Clark - Ada Lovelace - Jane Austen - George Eastman - Rosa Parks - Roy Wilson Howard - Washington State Senator Paull Shin - Johann Sebastian Bach - Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz - Lance Armstrong - John Lennon - Hans Christian Andersen - Edward Jenner - Giacomo Puccini - Joseph John ("J.J.") Thomson - Bertrand Russell - Hermann Rorschach - Herman Melville - John Keats - Marian Anderson - Garry Kasparov - Sylvia Plath - Leo Tolstoy - Peyton Rous - Benjamin Carson - Raphael - David Hume - Hannah Arendt - Ralph Waldo Emerson - Stephen Crane - Friedrich Nietzsche - Agatha Christie - William Wordsworth - Max Weber - Cleopatra - Jesse Jackson - Audie Murphy - Gustav Theodor Fechner - Edgar Allen Poe - Emile Zola - William Smith - Gerald Bull - Willa Cather - Ritchie Valens - Daniel Dennett - Cass Gilbert - Mary Leakey - Joseph Stalin - Charlie Chaplin - Nelly Bly - Henry Morton Stanley - Max Born - Sarah Breedlove - Frederick Froebel - Steve Allen - Louis Armstrong - Warren Hastings - Allan Pinkerton - Billie Holiday - Hank Williams - Malcolm X - Carol Burnett - Thomas Green Clemson - John Irving - J.R.R. Tolkien - Charles Bronson - Tom Blake - Paulette Goddard - Gene Hackman - Robert Hooke - James Byron Dean - Halle Berry - Benjamin Bratt - Eddie Murphy - Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg - Deborah Sampson - Ralph Ellison - California Supreme Court Justice Rose Bird - Eric Clapton - Eamon de Valera - William Reddington Hewlett - J. Marvin Herndon - Mother Angelica - Karl Rove - Julius Caesar - Muhammed - Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick - F. Whitten Peters - Henry Talbot - Arthur C. Clarke - Jim Rogan - Frederick W. Alt - Emil J. Freireich - Willie Nelson - Charlotte Perkins Gilman - Victor - Herbert - Bessie Coleman - Dorothy Andersen - Chiang Kai-shek - Videl Sassoon - Coco Chanel - Anderson Hayes Cooper - James Brown - Kenneth Grahame - Hunter "Patch" Adams - Jack Nicholson - Roald Dahl - William Lloyd Garrison - Douglas Fairbanks - David Harker - Robert Fulton - Irving Berlin - Jonathan Swift - Peggy Drexler - Art Buchwald - Carolyn Jones - Doris Roberts - Loretta Young - Marilyn Monroe - Barbara Stanwick - Steve McQueen - Cher - Pierce Brosnan - Wayne Dyer - Francis Alice Kellor - Sophia Loren - Stephen King - Sir Charles Bell - Whoopi Goldberg - Richard Wright - Percy Spencer - Ward Connerly - Fatty Arbuckle - Katherine Burr Blodgett - Dorothea Lange - Frances Kellor - Gloria Steinem - Gloria Gaynor - Jon Stewart - Bette Davis - Audrey Hepburn - Tom Cruise - Bill Cosby - Barry White - Susanna Harding - Jodie Foster - Patsy Cline - Ed Bradley - Tom Monaghan - Rickey Henderson....
Ann, if you’re not going to be part of the solution then that makes you part of the problem. All you do is spew vile outrageous comments that create divisions among people rather than bringing them closer together.
You actually said in one of your interviews that the left had a plan for illegitimacy. Give me a break, who plans for illegitimacy? How crazy does that sound? Its comments like this one that reduce your credibility and take away from some of the truths that may lie dormant in your tirades.
For instance, I agree that mothers need to take responsibility and not live off welfare forever. I also believe that single motherhood should not be glamorized because it’s a tough job and anyone who believes otherwise in terribly mistaken. However, in many instances it’s not single motherhood alone that is directly at issue. It is more so certain family characteristics and lifestyle advantages (such as educational opportunities, financial opportunities, stability, attention, and so forth) or the lack thereof that are attributable to the less than acceptable outcomes that we see.
So Ann, don’t lump everyone in the same basket. Unless you’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes, it would be wise not to judge to harshly. Judge not that ye not be judged. Matthew 7:1. You know where you’ve been, you don’t know where you’re going.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Loving Yourself
The Bible teaches us to love our neighbors as ourselves. It goes on to say that this is one of the greatest commandments. You see, God knew that if we loved our neighbors as we love ourselves, our only choice would be to be kind to one another. The problem is many of us don’t love ourselves. Consequently, we can’t love anyone else.
So, you may be wondering, how do I begin to love myself? Well, there are many solutions we can employ to begin to love ourselves. I have listed several of them below.
1.) Remember that you have the power of life and death in your own tongue. Stop criticizing yourself. Be aware of your self talk. Speak to yourself in ways that are kind. Stop being your own worst critic. Criticism breaks the inner spirit and never changes anything. Release the old critical voices from the past and learn to keep them from impacting your future.
2.) Learn to speak positively about yourself. Use affirmations and speak of yourself the way God speaks of you. “You are more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ.” “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world” “You are the head and not the tail.” “You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.”
3.) Treat yourself well. I firmly believe that we teach people how to treat us, but when we don’t treat ourselves well, we can’t teach others to do the same. Find ways to pamper yourself and replenish your soul. Strengthen your inner self by reading the Word and meditating on it to find comfort.
4.) Understand that the love must come from you. Others cannot affirm or love you the way you can. Stop looking to parents, significant others, and even children to do what only you can do yourself.
5.) Accept yourself for who you are. Good, bad, or ugly, you are who you are. Come Understand yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. Start there and move on. If you find that there are some things about yourself that you don’t like, begin changing them. Acknowledge that you created your negative attitudes about yourself for a reason. Now you need to find new, more positive ways to fulfill those needs. If necessary, come to terms with those aspects of yourself that you cannot change.
6.) Be your own best friend. Like, trust, and respect yourself. See yourself through compassion the way you would a friend. Cut yourself some slack.
7.) Don’t judge yourself harshly. Try to understand where the judgment is coming from and deal with it head on.
It is important for each of us to remind ourselves that we are not perfect.
Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an author, educator, inspirational speaker, and talk show host. Visit her at www.cheryllaceydonovan.com
So, you may be wondering, how do I begin to love myself? Well, there are many solutions we can employ to begin to love ourselves. I have listed several of them below.
1.) Remember that you have the power of life and death in your own tongue. Stop criticizing yourself. Be aware of your self talk. Speak to yourself in ways that are kind. Stop being your own worst critic. Criticism breaks the inner spirit and never changes anything. Release the old critical voices from the past and learn to keep them from impacting your future.
2.) Learn to speak positively about yourself. Use affirmations and speak of yourself the way God speaks of you. “You are more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ.” “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world” “You are the head and not the tail.” “You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.”
3.) Treat yourself well. I firmly believe that we teach people how to treat us, but when we don’t treat ourselves well, we can’t teach others to do the same. Find ways to pamper yourself and replenish your soul. Strengthen your inner self by reading the Word and meditating on it to find comfort.
4.) Understand that the love must come from you. Others cannot affirm or love you the way you can. Stop looking to parents, significant others, and even children to do what only you can do yourself.
5.) Accept yourself for who you are. Good, bad, or ugly, you are who you are. Come Understand yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. Start there and move on. If you find that there are some things about yourself that you don’t like, begin changing them. Acknowledge that you created your negative attitudes about yourself for a reason. Now you need to find new, more positive ways to fulfill those needs. If necessary, come to terms with those aspects of yourself that you cannot change.
6.) Be your own best friend. Like, trust, and respect yourself. See yourself through compassion the way you would a friend. Cut yourself some slack.
7.) Don’t judge yourself harshly. Try to understand where the judgment is coming from and deal with it head on.
It is important for each of us to remind ourselves that we are not perfect.
Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an author, educator, inspirational speaker, and talk show host. Visit her at www.cheryllaceydonovan.com
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